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Years ago, in an attempt at a long distance relationship, I found myself on Facebook messenger for hours on end every day.

When the relationship ended, I went into a complete tailspin.

Anxiety is the result of trying to control what we can’t and worrying about the future. While distraction makes us miserable, the ability to focus makes happier, more fulfilled, and more successful.

When you raise the quality of your attention, you’ll inevitably raise the quality of your life.

Cal Newport has built an incredibly popular blog, written multiple books, and received tenure at a prestigious University in record time.

There’s no more evident example of the fact that attention is the currency of achievement and learning to manage your attention will make you more successful.

And if your attention is always scattered the circumstances of your life will reflect that.

It’s a vicious cycle of feeding an insatiable beast.

Dating apps use the same variable rewards mechanism, but with a far more seductive promise than likes or comments: the potential for intimacy.

It ’s impossible not to compare yourself to others when fan/follower counts rank you, your self-esteem is measured in likes and comments, and every aspect of your humanity is quantified with vanity metrics, resulting in a false sense of celebrity.

A lack of presence combined with a constant comparison of our insides to other people’s outsides is a perfect cocktail for anxiety and depression.

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