Dating is a search problem solve it with
If you recognize ahead of time, though, what those relationship problems might be, you'll have a much better chance of getting past them.Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround.Problem-solving strategies: Even partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually.Mary Jo Fay, author of Please Dear, Not Tonight, says a lack of sexual self-awareness and education worsens these problems.My heart goes out to those men and women who have spent years being extremely picky — aka too afraid — because I believe they have missed out on a lot of the comfort that can come with a long-term relationship.
Healthy Picky: You’re careful about who you get involved with, taking things slowly in the beginning, not moving into the bedroom too quickly, and remaining on guard for a couple months or so until you have a sense of who this new person really is.
The Fear Factor: It goes without saying that it’s not so great if you fall into the extremely picky camp. What causes someone to be so picky and overly discerning? Extreme pickiness is a giant blob of defense mechanisms with an underlying fear of a real long-term romantic relationship.
Underneath it all, people who are extremely picky are afraid to depend on someone for fear of getting hurt.
I’ve heard it said a million times before: “I’m really picky.” The subject, of course, is pickiness in dating, and countless men and women tell themselves they can’t find a mate because they’re just too picky.
But before we go further, we need to pump the breaks: There is healthy picky and unhealthy picky.