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“Showing your partner, not [just] telling them, can also influence them to change their ways,” she says. If your partner has a habit of speeding, for example, “saying something like, ‘When you drive really fast in the car, it makes me feel nervous and anxious’ is a good idea,” Morse explains.

It makes it seem less accusatory, and more like something you’re working on together.

“Some people do a 15-minute check-in, where you get home and put down your phones and talk about your day,” explains Morse, “while others do at least one dinner out each week where they leave their phones in the car.” It doesn’t matter what you do, just do something phoneless: “To maintain a healthy relationship, it’s really important to connect without distractions,” she emphasizes.

3) I’m scared to talk to my partner about money—what’s the best way to do it?

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The trick is to work together on this, rather than placing all of the blame on your partner, explains sex and relationship expert , Ph D, host of the “Sex with Emily” podcast on i Tunes and radio show on Sirius XM.

Finally, do your research and show up prepared with questions—just like you would if you were going into a business meeting, advises Sussman.

If you know that one parent is a writer, for example, read some of their work before you go.

Say something like, “I’ve noticed that you don’t let me hold you when I hug you anymore—is there something you want to talk about?

” More often than not, once you sit down to talk about the issue that was tipping you off, it actually has nothing to do with infidelity, explains Sussman.

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