Dating with a mastectomy
Each time she met someone new, Linda had to struggle with when and how to tell, and then how to behave in intimate situations.In the beginning, she would blurt out her history almost immediately, frightening herself and her date.I don’t focus on the exact meaning of a BRCA2 6056del C mutation (which I’d be lying if I said I fully understand), nor do I obsess over the statistics associated with a BRCA mutation.Instead, I try to deliver the details that make the most sense to understanding why I’d elect to have a prophylactic mastectomy.When it comes to talking about the actual mastectomy surgery, I start with a basic “I replaced the stuffing on my boobs.” I then elaborate with a much more scientifically backed “I took out the potentially bad tissue and replaced it with implants.” (I think that’s what they write in the medical journals, right?
If a guy wants to know about my BRCA mutation, I give him a quick overview of how I came to be tested for the mutation.
Most of my concerns about oversharing stem from not wanting a guy to think I’m fragile or broken in some sort of way.
I also worry about encountering queasy types; call me old school, but I wouldn’t want a date to pass out in the middle of appetizers.
She had no way to find help as a single woman looking for a relationship, wanting to know when and how to tell about her mastectomy and her disease.
She wrote the book , a personal account of how she coped with these problems (unfortunately out of print, but worth tracking down in a library or a used book store).