Healthy physical boundaries dating
PART 4: Navigating the Early Stages of a Relationship » Quite a few Boundless readers asked questions or made comments about my statement in “Biblical Dating: How It’s Different From Modern Dating” that “biblical dating assumes outside of marriage that Scripture explicitly prohibits?
How can you say definitively that other things are wrong? Shouldn’t our physical relationship “progress” as other aspects of our relationship deepen? I understand most physical stuff is wrong, but what about All good questions.
Boundaries are essential to healthy relationships and, really, a healthy life. Unfortunately, it’s a skill that many of us don’t learn, according to psychologist and coach Dana Gionta, Ph. We might pick up pointers here and there from experience or through watching others.
But for many of us, boundary-building is a relatively new concept and a challenging one.
With respect to pre-marital, romantically oriented kissing, we’re clearly talking about an area about which reasonable believers can (and do) disagree.
Let me lay out what I view to be applicable biblical principles and passages on this topic.
She suggested thinking of these feelings on a continuum from one to 10. If you’re at the higher end of this continuum, during an interaction or in a situation, Gionta suggested asking yourself, what is causing that?
When we do this, “our need and motivation to set boundaries become stronger,” she said.Self-care also means recognizing the importance of your feelings and honoring them.These feelings serve as “important cues about our wellbeing and about what makes us happy and unhappy.”Putting yourself first also gives you the “energy, peace of mind and positive outlook to be more present with others and be there” for them.” And “When we’re in a better place, we can be a better wife, mother, husband, co-worker or friend.”8. If you’re having a hard time with boundaries, “seek some support, whether [that’s a] support group, church, counseling, coaching or good friends.” With friends or family, you can even make “it a priority with each other to practice setting boundaries together [and] hold each other accountable.”Consider seeking support through resources, too.Gionta likes the following books: The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Transform Your Life One Month at a Time and Boundaries in Marriage (along with several books on boundaries by the same authors).9. Of course, we know that it’s not enough to create boundaries; we actually have to follow through.Even though we know intellectually that people aren’t mind readers, we still expect others to know what hurts us, Gionta said.