Internet dating graphics

“It’s more possible to find someone now than at probably any other time in history, particularly if you’re older.You don’t have to stand in a bar and wait for the right one to come along,” says Fisher.Once upon a time, internet dating was a vaguely embarrassing pursuit.Who wanted to be one of those lonely hearts trolling the singles bars of cyberspace?Plus, being more active should bump my profile toward the top, so I’ll be more visible. Someone “likes” me and asks me out within three messages.I should make my messages personal, advises Hoffman: “Comment on something in his profile and follow with a question.” Dutifully, I tell one bespectacled prospect, “I like melty ice cream, too. ” I have some interesting chats, but nothing leads anywhere. He’s into photography and makes his own pasta—and he is an Adonis.I’m supposed to focus on how I feel, not on “the package”—but it’s hard when the package is so beautifully wrapped.He's sweet, too, talking about his grandma, and we follow dinner with drinks.

But at 44, I started to realize that if I want a companion before Social Security kicks in, I have to leave the couch.After a lengthy back-and-forth with a cute guy who asks why I’m still single (beats me! We have a short phone call, as Hoffman recommends, to set something up. That’s online dating: You meet the freakazoids and think, Ghosting happens to the best of us, says therapist and dating coach Melanie Hersch.), I try a Hoffman move, writing, “That’s a story better told over a drink.” He suggests... To stay sane, she says, “stop telling yourself stories to explain it, like ‘It’s because I’m not good enough.’ Trying to figure out why someone didn’t choose you is like trying to swim with ankle weights: You’ll get pulled right down instead of moving forward.I needed a trainer, someone who could help me focus—only instead of getting defined abs, I’d get a mate (hopefully, with defined abs).Enter Damona Hoffman, dating coach and host of the Dates & Mates podcast, who promises rapid results if I just follow a few tough-love rules....

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