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Online dating offers a solution, because you can see who first contacts whom, and whether the recipient responds to that initial message.So for this paper, the scientists used anonymized data from an unnamed dating site for nearly 187,000 users across four U. cities – New York, Boston, Chicago and Seattle – over the course of a month.The two texted and exchanged phone calls for a month before finally meeting in person.

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Scientists who analyzed user data from a popular dating site have found that heterosexual men and women reach out to potential dating partners who are on average about 25% more attractive than they are.

Women consistently sent more positively worded messages to men when the “desirability gap” was greater, the scientists said – a sign that they were putting in more effort for a more desirable man.

Men, however, did the opposite: They sent less positively worded messages to more desirable women.“My coauthor and I used to joke that the men are playing it cool,” Bruch said.

Couples, married or not, tend to have similar ages, educations, levels of attractiveness and a host of other characteristics.

This could mean that people try to find partners who “match” their stats.

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