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As a kid with a guilty conscience and generally law abiding, I never did any public tagging, but did get pretty heavily into doing pieces on paper, playing with tags, on various media.
I know that it's tempting to see graffiti as a kind of counter cultural, illicit activity--and often it is.
When my kids were this age, my rules were that they needed to let me know if they were going to be out past midnight so I wouldn't worry.
He's immature, isolated from us and from friends (except for all of his ''friends'' online, whom he's never met) and extremely passive.
I did, however, want to point out some context and resources for you to engage with your daughter if she is serious about graffiti as a creative outlet. Yeahhhhh, the kids are going to see each other whether it's in your house or elsewhere, though of course you can set rules on how often and when he can stay over. And of course forbidding her from seeing him most often backfires.
I'd just suggest continued communication, as often as she allows it. This seems more like a boyfriend problem than a graffiti problem.
Then your discussion becomes about your concern with her getting into trouble.
You can go even further to show your support for the art form itself. They teach a variety of classes on graffiti both from a historical and practical perspective.